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| My brother Terry, shortly before he went missing on December 18, 2001. |
Ambiguous
Loss:
The
most stressful type of loss; a type of loss that lacks answers, is unclear,
indeterminate and often goes unacknowledged.
-
Dr. Pauline Boss
This blog was written for all the people who have provided an incredible amount of emotional support to me over the years since my brother Terry went missing.
I had originally intended on writing this as a book, but it got very complicated trying to get permissions, trying to fill in information gaps, and trying not to upset too many people. With a blog, I can easily update information or remove inaccuracies if any are discovered. I
acknowledge that there are some members of my family who didn’t want this blog published. I think they are uneasy with my belief that Terry has passed away,
and they are still hopeful that someday he will be found alive.
There
was one point in time when I decided to scrap this effort. But shortly after I
made that decision, my niece – Terry’s daughter – once again posted his “Missing”
poster on Facebook on the anniversary of his disappearance. The response was
nothing less than amazing. No one had any information to provide, but the post
was shared again and again and the outpouring of sympathy was incredibly
touching. Friends of mine from around the world not only shared the post but
sent the kindest words of comfort, and let me know that they understood the
anguish our family was going through because of the lack of information. And,
like me and the rest of my family, they continue to wonder what happened.
For
all those who have stood by me during this agonizing period, I have to inform
you that we still don’t know what happened, but I want to share with you what I
can. Some of you were by my side around time of the disappearance, and provided
much-needed and much-appreciated emotional support. Most of you learned about
my brother in later years, and you, too, have provided much-needed and
much-appreciated emotional support. You have all been very understanding, and I
hope this book allows you to understand even more what it is like to have a
family member go missing, and to have so few answers.
"When Terry Went Missing" is from my perspective only, but I have included a number of emails from family members, including my brothers Ron and Mike who have passed away since Terry’s disappearance.
~~~~~~~~~~
“In
Canada, more than 95 percent of missing person cases are ‘resolved’.”
"Cold Case" Video from Saskatchewan RCMP: https://youtu.be/iaWjzCLy6xA
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